I'm in Ireland... now what?

From my journal this morning... 

"I really don't know why I'm here, and while I have a peace about being here and I'm really enjoying sitting next to a river and listening to the river noise and not steady traffic from 75/85, I'm not overflowing with joy about being in Ireland.   I think a lot of it has to do with feeling pressure of making this the experience of a lifetime.  It was expensive to get over here, I'm in Ireland for the summer, it's my last summer vacation... I feel like all of these statements carry some powerful expectations of "Make it count" and "Use your time wisely".  It's funny because I remember feeling exactly this way at the beginning of Ethiopia.  I remember Emily Nicholos saying "Maybe God brought you to Ethiopia simply so that he could draw you away and you could learn to walk with Him".  And it had never really occurred to me that maybe that's the same reason I'm in Ireland this summer.  Not to have crazy adventure stories (thought I'm sure I'll have more than a few), not to relish in the beauty of Ireland so I can tell everyone how pretty it is (thought I know that's going to happen too), and not to come back with crazy pub stories (this isn't a Spain repeat).  While all these things will happen in their own time, this summer isn't about a story.  It's not about proving I'm adventurous or well-traveled or independent or knowledgeable about every facet of Ireland.  It's not about justifying a scholarship or confirming that I made the right decision about coming here this summer.  It's about an experience where I'm going to grow in ways that I never expected and about learning to walk with God in yet another part of my life.  It's a chance to see how different components my past summer experiences (Spain, Beach Project, and Ethiopia) come together to propel me into a summer where I continue to define who I am. I wrestled for a long time about whether or not to even do a blog.  Deleting it would eliminate the pressure of trying to be witty/entertaining/seeking out cool stories to write about.  But I decided to keep it because

a) There's always the chance I could lose my journal 

b) My computer could crash and delete all my pictures (aka a repeat of 2 weeks ago) 

c) Nobody is depending on my blog and if people lose interest in it, it doesn't affect anything other than my pride

d) It's a chance to share my experiences rather than recount them at the end of the summer

e) It's a challenge for me to be vulnerable and show that a walk with God doesn't just happen on a volunteer trip in Africa"

...I'm not really sure where to go from there, but I decided it wouldn't be right if last summer I shared thoughts AND experiences, and this summer I only focused on stories.  That being said, here are some (but not all) of my summer goals: 

1. Run a 1/2 marathon somewhere pretty

2. Get to know people in my program 

3. Go to a pub recommended by a local

4. Keep my room clean (who knew I had to come to Ireland for this one) 

5. Spend time with God everyday

6. Keep up with people at home

7. Drink a Guinness

8. Make an Irish friend

9. Ride a bike through the countryside 

10. Learn (obligatory goal about school, but something I actually want to do)