Overwhelmed

Today was the first time I cried about how much abundance I live in.  It was funny – it wasn't seeing kids come to school with no shoes and tattered clothes or visiting a home made of mud with 1 bed for 6 people that set me off.  It was sorting through the suitcase full of donations of jeans that my mom had pulled from the thrift store because no one was buying them and clothes that I had grown out of or deemed “tacky”.  It was making a pile of these clothes and giving them to Ahsna, the kids’ nanny, and seeing the delight on her face when I told her that I had brought clothes that didn't fit me and that I thought might fit her.  And then it was her coming upstairs to give me a huge hug and a kiss on the check and to tell me in broken English “I love!” and “Tomorrow I wear!”  And that’s when I leaned against the wall and cried.  Because Ahsna’s day was made through thrift shop jeans (I think they’ll be the only pair of jeans she’s ever owned) and hand-me, hand-me, hand-me downs.

I was overwhelmed at how easy it is to make someone feel so loved through something that was a convenience to give away.

And then I started thinking about how the other day, I complimented Amarech (the Burayu school director) on her hair barrette.  A lot of Ethiopian women wear them, and in my quest to become Ethiopianized, I asked her where I could buy one.  She ensured me that she would get one for me, but I insisted that I really wanted to buy it for myself.  2 days later she pulled me aside into her office and pulled a BEAUTIFUL barrette out of her pocket.  I don’t think I've ever been so excited about a git in my life (I’m sure I have been, but I reached that level of excitement).  I gave her at least 7 HUGE hugs and said “thank you” in every way I could (yes, I accidentally slipped “Muchimas gracias” in and we both laughed).  I’m sure she left thinking “I had no idea it was so easy to make someone feel so loved”.

3 Things I realized:

1. How much God must rejoice when we accept His gift.  I was overwhelmed by a couple pairs of jeans that weren't even mine.  How much more must He rejoice when His children whom (who? Grammar Nazi’s Trav and Carey… halp) He  fearfully and wonderfully made in His image (Psalm 139/Genesis 1) receive His grace and when we put our faith in Christ, accepting His free gift of eternal life  Romans 3:21-26 & Romans 6:23.
2. That Ahsna and I have the same desire to be loved.  And what a couple pairs of jeans can do for her, a hair barrette can do for me.  We make loving people so complicated sometimes.  All it takes is turning our eyes outward and appreciating others, and then finding little ways to let them know.
3. Giving out of abundance is okay.  I get caught up in thinking that if a gift is not a sacrifice, it is not a true gift.  If I’m giving clothes away that I didn’t really like or donating $$ that I found on the side of the road, it doesn’t really count as a donation.  But clothes are still clothes and $$ donated is still $$ donated.  While I definitely think that there are times when we are called to sacrificially give, I think we get so caught up in making sure we’re sacrificing that we forget we’re allowed to give out of our abundance.  Sometimes if I don’t feel like I’m making a sacrifice I don’t give at all, and I don’t think that’s the way it’s supposed to work.  In 2 Corinthians 8-9 Paul is encouraging the Corinthian church to give generously.  He’s not asking them to sell their houses and live on the streets in order to buy someone else a house.  He’s not asking that they give up their college educations or 4 meals a week so that they can pay for someone else’s education.  He’s asking that “as a matter of fairness your abundance at the present time should supply their [the Christians in Jerusalem] need, so that their abundance may supply your need, that there may be fairness” (2 Cor 8:13-14). At that time, whle the Corinthian believers could contribute their abundance of finances, the Jewish believers could supply an abundance of prayer, ministry, and spiritual strength.  That’s EXACTLY what I’ve seen here.  Because of Kennedy can supply finances and Stand for the Vulnerable Organization (SVO) can provide an incredible amount of prayer and ministry support.  Dana’s family (Dana is a guy who came on the American team) can pay $42 a month for Kadist’s education, basic health fees, and her mom’s empowerment training. Kadist, her mom, and the rest of her family can provide an abundance of prayers when 14-year old Rob (Dana’s son) comes back from Ethiopia with cediph (sp?) and goes to the hospital to fight for his life (and then, still on medication, comes back to Ethiopia 8 months later to see Kadist and her family).  This is a partnership for the gospel.  That’s what it means to be a body of Christ.  Yes, I still think there are times when we are called to sacrificially give in order to love like Jesus.  But there are also times when we are given an abundance (of finances, love, faith, hope, happiness… whatever) and it’s out of that abundance that we’re able to bring glory to God.  2 Corinthians 9:11-15.

Today was supposed to be my Sabbath where I don’t get on my computer and don’t think about emailing people or Because of Kennedy.  Once again, Marnie’s planned failed for something WAY better.